I was originally going to write some more focused thoughts on some shows I have been watching lately, but my brain just wasn’t up to it. Trying to watch something and have some insight into it has become more taxing as the stress of not going outside out of fear of catching a disease that many people in your neighborhood don’t seem to know or care about exists. I saw a woman with no mask on in a grocery market talking to two older people who did have masks on gathered closely together and talking about visiting grave sites. Not only was this breaking the rules that the grocery market themselves established, but the irony of talking about visiting graves while potentially spreading a disease that could kill the two people you are talking to was too much for me to bear, but I digress.
I have found myself less focusing on something I need to think deeply about, and watching things that are more pleasant, more surface level appeal. I was going to write about City Hunter (a popular anime from the 1980’s), and how it is a reaction to more women getting jobs in the late 70’s and 80’s, but Ryo Saeba’s sexual harassment “antics” I could only endure for 3 episodes before I tabled it. I tried to formulate my thoughts, but at some point I didn’t really want to do the work to form a concise thesis about it. Instead I have been watching Uchitama?! Have you seen my Tama?, an anime that takes the popular mascot character, and anthropomorphises them to follow them on their various adventures (here is the trailer to get an idea of what I am talking about). It is a silly show, and a lot of logistics that come with how they try to switch from a properly proportioned human, to a cute cate or dog mascot, that I can’t decide is brilliant or dumb. In the end, it is just cute people/animals doing cute things. It feels like all my brain can take right now.
Which is a little sad, as working from home has given me more free time, it should be the perfect time to be able to sit down and really focus on analysis. The very idea that I would be able to do a 40 hour a week job, and do 2 blog entries a week was born out of the naive belief that I could just get through all the stress the outside world is bringing, and just focus on writing. I consider myself more of an inside person, but living with many of my outlets no longer available has been harder on me than I anticipated. As much as I would love to sign up to the Criterion Channel and watch some thought provoking media (especially as I got my tax return and can afford it) but I know in my heart of hearts that most likely would end up feeling more like work than something I would enjoy. As time goes on, I may just bite the bullet, but it is just harder than it should be. The worst part is that it isn’t like this is going to be over soon, and the world doesn’t seem to be getting better, so relief feels like it will need to come from the inside.
Unfortunately, just like I don’t have any insights in the media I have watched, I also don’t have any insights into how to get through this crisis with your mind intact, but I figured that writing about it and getting it out there will be the first step in trying to confront it. Hopefully, this will encourage me to do something more productive, but even if it doesn’t, as long as I keep writing, and someone enjoys it, maybe it is worth writing something. Either way, I am going to keep doing my best, and see what I can cook up for next time. Keep safe, and let’s get through this together!
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