Compartmentalization (Part 1)

Hello! During the Summer (or what most people would call “the end of summer” I suppose) I am going to try something different! I am going to write a bit of a serial story! Hope you will enjoy!

Compartmentalization

Part 1: The Blind Date

It was a fancy restaurant, one I wasn’t used going to. There was a red table cloth and the restaurant was dimly lit. Maybe that is why I can’t seem to remember anything else other than her face. In my memory, it is as if I have tunnel vision and everything other than her face is blurred. It was just the two of us, and it always cuts in at the same place.

“So are you saying you won’t remember me?” she remarked with a smile. I feel embarrassed as I explain,

    “Not quite, I am not through the whole program yet, but the idea is more that I forget things I won’t need immediately. It is a way to focus, and use more of the brain than people usually do.”

    “So it makes you smart?”

    “Yeah, but it also makes your life simpler, but able to work at a more complex level. It is really quite brilliant.”

    “What turned you on to this?”

    “Actually,” I stammer a little bit, “the whole thing was on TV. Though what I am practicing is from a professional, not just from some book I ordered on the phone.” I looked at her face to see her reaction. I was relieved it wasn’t of total revulsion as it had been for the past two blind dates. I had tried it both ways: not telling until after a few dates, and telling them right away, and I found that it is better to rip the band-aid off rather than try and pretend the band-aid doesn’t exist. She seemed to be more curious than anything. I decided to maybe elaborate some more, make it seem like a good idea rather than a completely crazy one.

    “You see,” I started, “The human body is always trying to reserve power in case of an emergency. Athletes know this and are always trying to train themselves to ignore pain, to ignore their body telling them to stop, because we know now that the body has a very small threshold when it comes to experiencing exhaustion, but it has a high threshold of how long and hard the body can actually go. The brain is the same way. People think that they have reached the limits of their intellect, but actually the brain holds back in order to save energy. The human body is so obsessed with saving itself that it can never truly reach its true potential.”

    “So this program makes it so you can?”

    “Well, hopefully. By organizing the brain and making them into compartments, the brain can access everything it is capable of.”

    “Wow, that sounds totally crazy!”

    “I know, but its kinda cool right?”

    “So I guess if this date goes well, you’ll remember me, and if you don’t do well, you’ll just forget I ever existed?”

    “Forget is probably too strong, it would be more like ignore, but I think this date is going okay, right?”

    “Sure, but what if something happens to you that you want to forget but you shouldn’t? I mean, I have some painful memories here and there, but if I forgot them, then I would never learn from them! How can you make it so you can remember the lessons from experience without the pain of the mistake?”

    I must have not come up with a very good answer, because that is when it cuts off. Or maybe I came up with a great answer, but the question is what remains much more important. Though the questions of who was she, and who was I, and how did that lead to here have become more and more pressing every time I remember that blind date. I think I remember that as a sort of warning and a way of explaining myself my situation, but more and more I feel that the memory is also used to mock me. Some past version of myself is gloating over how much more it understands than the me right now.

Then I hear a crash, and a second later I feel a crash. It is so sudden and intense that I wonder I am again wandering into another dream (I hesitate to say nightmare just because what distinguishes nightmare from normal dream is becoming more blurred everyday), but then I feel the blood coming out from a cut in my head and everything becomes into view. I look around and I am in some sort of black vehicle, my vision too blurred to make out any shapes. I bang open something I assume to be a door, and have to squint my eyes at the extreme brightness outside. It is as if I emerged from a black void and made it to an expanse of white space. Once my eyes adjust, I see that I am actually in a large desert and the heat is almost unbearable. I start to take off the once expensive suit (made cheap by the various rips and tears I assume I got from the crash) I am for some reason wearing, but before I can even take off the tie, I hear a voice in the distance.

    “Hey, you Josh?” the male voice yells gruffly.

    “Maybe?” I answer truthfully, “Who is asking?”

    “Doesn’t matter, get in!”

    Seeing as I didn’t have many other choices, I decide to walk towards what I now see is a big yellow van.