Consistency, Again

The hardest part of consistency is, as one might expect, is actually doing it every time. It is all fun and easy at first, but once that initial “honey moon” period ends, you realize that you kind of have to fight to be always going at it. The word “consistency” also has an implication of the same level of quality. Though time marches on, making every attempt great, good, or at least interesting becomes more of a challenge each time. The challenge is not always just doing the same thing, but being able to be consistent even if life tries its best to get in your way.

In order to stay consistent then, one needs a drive. Motivation to get up and focus. It is easy to do this for a job just because the motivation is money, but what about creative projects? What about stuff that isn’t just for money? What if it is just to develop your own skills? It is a strange thing, especially for me, because doing creative projects should be their own reward. In a lot of ways they are, but just as nature’s natural state is one of being inert, the energy of being creative can be almost too much.

I find that writing has become like exercising. I should do it everyday but I don’t seem to have the time of the energy. The reality is that it is more that I have to make the time and get the energy myself (it also doesn’t help that if I exercise I won’t have enough time for writing and vice-versa). I also feel like there is something in the air that teaches us that if we aren’t “geniuses” or completely dedicated to an art, then it isn’t worth pursuing in any fashion. I will admit that this might be just be my own cultural assumption, but it something I have always felt and it bothers me. I know that it is important for a person to try and find the things they are best at, but then to limit oneself to only doing the things we do well feels wrong. Following the path of just trying to follow your creative potential may not be the path filled with the most riches, but it could be the path with the most learning.

I guess the real question is, is learning about yourself really that helpful? Is being consistent in order to test your resolve worth the effort? I am not entirely sure. That is another question I struggle with every so often. The more I think about it though, the more I am beginning to realize that the key might just be to make that choice and let it change you. Realise your identity through your actions and do what is best for you and the ones around you. I am not sure if the choices I made were the right ones, heck, I don’t even know if half of them were even good ones, but in the end, they were the choices I made, and those choices define me. I find it more and more absurd to think of what would happen if I took a left instead of a right, because I would have been a completely different person.

Maybe consistency is just a sort of hope; a construction people make in order to gain control of the people they become. The things people do to try and build something worth stepping onto the next phase in their lives with. The elements they save through each iteration, what people choose to be consistent about, becomes who they are. It is consistency, or perhaps the lack of consistency, that allows people able to either free themselves from their own prisons of genetics and environments, or lock themselves even further away in order to protect themselves.

So, this is my little prayer to the world. Well, to be honest, it is more like a little prayer to myself. Though as egotistical as might sound, it is important to say to yourself, with so many words (a ‘lotta words in my case), how one wants to change and how you want to change. So, me, keep on writing! This will all pay off eventually someday, if not with a paycheck, then perhaps with something more valuable than money: peace of mind.