First I want to thank my parents. I figure that I owe them the most for my existence, so thanking them first seems like a good idea. I also want to thank my girlfriend, who gave me the encouragement to write a serial story. If you didn’t want me to tell you stories, I am not sure if I ever would have written this! I especially want to thank all the friends and family (or whoever) that read this. I hope ya’ll had as much fun reading it as I did writing it!
The story of “the car wreck in the desert,” “the black platform,” “Mind-compartmentalization,” and “anti-assassins,” had been developing in my head since high school. To be honest, I had given up on it a long time ago, thinking that I didn’t have what it took to really flesh it out. It wasn’t until I started keeping a journal that I started really working out my “writing muscles,” that I even considered writing any of this down. Eventually, I had gotten so used to writing that I started a blog, which then lead to finally getting this story out of my head. It is amazing how much that story changed as I wrote it down. What it was, and what it became, are now almost two different things. I am glad I waited though, because Compartmentalization is so much better now than it would have been if I wrote it in high school.
I have to thank K.C. Green for inspiring me to write and hold myself to a daily schedule. Without his advice, I probably wouldn’t have gotten anything written (check out his stuff here, warning, sometimes NSFW). I have to thank Kurt Vonnegut for showing me that fiction doesn’t have to be a “tyranny,” and inspiring me to be truthful and honest whenever I can with his stories. I also have to thank Oliver Sacks for turning Josh from an underdeveloped idea to a living, breathing human being with all his research on the human brain. I also have to thank Alfred Bester, Charles Dickens, Haruki Murakami, Jim Shepard, and countless other inspirations I pulled from my life.
Thank you all do much!
I consider this run pretty much a rough draft for the most part. I am not sure what is next for it yet, but I have ideas. I hope that everyone who supported this endeavor will also support me with the next step, whatever it is! Until that time, this blog will revert to just random musings that I happen to have. Please enjoy!
Part 20.5 All’s Well That Ends
“ARE YOU AND JOSH OKAY?!” Dan yelled over the loud helicopter blades.
“WHAT?!” Maxwell yelled back, despite being a foot away from Dan.
“I SAID, ARE YOU AND JOSH OKAY?!”
“I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”
“HERE, LET’S WALK OVER HERE A LITTLE BIT AND SEE IF THAT MAKES THINGS BETTER!” Dan grabs Maxwell and begins to walk on the other side of the platform.
“WAIT, JUST SHUT OFF THE HELICOPTER!” Maxwell yelled, while standing his ground.
“WHAT? I MEAN, WE COULD JUST GO NOW AND TALK WHEN WE GET BACK!”
Maxwell again doesn’t hear him and just makes a slashing motion across his neck to tell Dan to cut it off. Dan shrugs his shoulders and walks in the helicopter to tell Kate to shut off the engine.
The big, black cargo helicopter was a tight fit for the black platform. Even when it landed on the far left side, it took up a fourth of the available space out there in the middle of the ocean. Maxwell had been pacing back and forth waiting for rescue, for how long, he did not know. Josh was unconscious and had not moved from his spot for some time.
“Well, I was going to wait until we got back, but as long as we are here, what in the hell happened? Where is Smoker? And how the hell did you all get here?” Dan asked with his hands on his hips.
Maxwell looked at Dan with a face of exhaustion and confusion, “There was a helicopter and J. was here, but Josh activated something and there is no trace of him left. And I have been looking,” Maxwell said.
“‘Activated something?’” Dan inquired.
“Some sort of ‘auto-neutralize’ thing, I think it was a security system, or a trap, or something. I was told this was some sort of ‘secret facility’ but before J. could set up, Josh yelled something, he told me to lie completely flat, and we sunk into these grates. Then flames erupted above us. Whatever the material used to make this platform protected us.”
“Hmmm. It feels just like a normal, metal black grate,” Dan stamps his foot on the platform, “Are you sure it protected Josh?”
“The flames were so hot that if Josh was even a tiny bit unprotected, he would probably been erased like everything else. He seems to still be breathing.”
“You have any idea what the purpose of this place is?” Dan said while looking around the plain looking black grates of the platform.
“If I had to guess, it looks like an execution platform to me,” Maxwell answered.
“I was told to report anything I found to the UWG right away; price for borrowing their helicopter I suppose. I am going to tell everyone else they can go outside and stretch their legs a bit,” Dan said while going back to the helicopter.
Dan walks to the helicopter and calls over Ken to check up on Josh. Ken muttered something about not really being a doctor, but he checks the pulse and examines Josh for any injuries anyway.
“BRO!” Max ran out of the helicopter as soon as Dan let him, “You okay?!”
“Yes. A little shaken, but yes, I’m fine,” Maxwell said
“Oh, thank god,” Max said and hugged Maxwell. Max wrapped his arms around Maxwell tight, while Maxwell just patted Max on the back a few times with one hand.
“What happened to everybody?” Max asked.
Exhausted by the prospect that he would have to think of a good way to explain the inexplicable thing that just happened again, Maxwell just responded, “I have no real idea.”
Ben saunters out of the helicopter as if nothing had happened. With his hands in his white pants, he walks over to Max.
“That’s right!” Max remembered, “You owe me an apology!”
“For what?” Maxwell responds indignantly.
“For disrespecting Ben and I!”
“What in the world are you talking about?”
“For throwing me out because of our relationship!”
“‘Throwing you out’? Throwing you out of what?! I just made you have to stop pretending you cared about your job! When you parade around with your boyfriend, who doesn’t have any sort of clearance at all for any the information that is critical for anti-assassination, take him to meetings, et cetera, you can’t expect there to be no kind of repercussion! There are rules!”
“Oh yeah!? Then what about...”
Maxwell interrupted, “I just went through a kidnapping, a possible execution or murder, or whatever it was, and I have been completely traumatized, and this is when you hit me with this?!”
“We’re not leaving until we get our apology!”
“Fine,” said Maxwell, though he thought that ultimatum was funny since they couldn’t go anywhere right now anyway, “I am sorry Max. I am sorry Ben. I am sorry I let professionalism get in the way of your feelings.”
“Thank you! See?” Max said to Ben, “I told you!” and started to walk back to the helicopter.
Ben walked over to Maxwell and in a low voice said, “Uh, sorry about this. I just thought he needed to stand up to you, but, yeah.”
“Its okay,” Maxwell also said in a low voice, “Max has always been like this.”
“You coming?” Max yelled to Ben.
“Naw, I’m gonna stretch out a bit,” Ben said.
“Okay. Call me if you need anything.”
Back in the helicopter, Dan was busy talking to UWG representatives in the cockpit, while Kate and Gwen were busy taking off the robot suit that Gwen put on earlier.
“I can’t believe I didn’t get to use this at all,” Gwen said as she was standing completely still as if she was a statue.
“Better safe than sorry,” Kate said while she was taking off a shoulder piece of the suit.
Gwen began to look sad.
“Aw, don’t take it too bad Gwen. Nobody got to really do anything. There will always be next time!” Kate said cheerfully.
“No. I am not down about it, it is just so incredibly hot,” Gwen said as sweat dripped down her face and then started to breath a little more audibly.
“I guess that means the cooling system is finally offline. I shut off the power to this thing, but I’ll try to get you out of there as fast as I can,” Kate saw Max enter the helicopter, “Yo Max, can you get Gwen a bottle of water?”
“Oh sure,” Max said, “Where can I get some?”
“Just in that cooler over there.”
Maxwell hands Kate a bottle of water and she opens it and helps Gwen drink it, for she can’t move with the powered-off suit on.
“By the way, I could’ve sworn I brought more clothes when I went to the hotel,” Max said as he was looking through his luggage, “Did anyone see anybody going through my stuff?”
“No idea,” Kate said. Right as she said it, she finally gets the upper body part of the RA suit off and now Gwen can move a bit on her own. Gwen picks up the bottle of water and drinks whatever is left.
“What did we expect that we decided to use this suit anyway?” Gwen asked.
“I thought it was just because you wanted to try it on,” Kate said in amusement.
“No, I mean, did we expect the entire Smoker guild to attack us?”
“I don’t think we had a real reasonable reason why, I am not sure if any of us really knew what to expect, so we prepared for the worse.”
Gwen thought about this, as she was helping Kate get the rest of the armor off. She wondered what other decisions they had made that were only made out of fear. She was wondering if maybe that is why she was here in the first place.
Outside, Ken is standing by Josh with his hands in his white blazer pockets.
“He is definitely alive,” Ken said to Maxwell, who seemed to be deep in thought, looking out into the ocean, “but lord knows if he is really okay.”
“I have a feeling that the UWG wouldn’t be too happy if he was dead,” Maxwell said with his hand on his chin.
“If he lives through this, is he going to be part of the team?”
“If he has all his faculties intact, I don’t see why not.”
“I am no Sherlock Holmes, but it looks like he managed to manipulate and murder his old friend, without leaving any evidence. Do you think that is such a good idea?”
“I see what you are saying, but I would argue that if Josh does that to his friends, imagine what he could do to his enemies.”
“So what, are you saying that we are screwed either way?”
“I am saying that if I am going to suffer some horrific fate, I rather do it thinking I was trying to do a better job and potentially help someone than naively thinking I was safe.”
“Don’t say I never warned you.”
Maxwell and Ken circled around and was joined by Dan, Kate, Gwen, Ben and then finally Max.
“Hey. That’s my outfit! When did he get my outfit?” Max said confusedly.
“I think he found it in our hotel room,” Ben said in a deadpan.
“He could’ve told me.”
“He could’ve told us a lot of things,” Kate remarked.
“Is he alive?” asked Gwen.
“You don’t think he is in a coma, do you?” Ken said.
“Alright,” Dan grunted as he headed back towards the helicopter and got a bottle of water and a towel. Dan then walks back and kneels next to Josh. He begins to take small handfuls of water into one hand and starts splashing Josh in the face.
“What are you doing?” Maxwell asked.
“I don’t see anyone else trying anything,” Dan retorted.
Whether it was coincidence or not, after a minute of splashing Josh’s face and drying it. Josh opens his eyes.
“Josh, are you okay?” Dan asked.
“I, I am not sure yet,” Josh said shakily.
Josh began to stand up. He faltered a little bit, and Maxwell and Dan helped him to stand.
“Are you sure he should be standing? He may need to lay down,” Ken said.
“No, I’m okay. I just, have a bit of a headache,” Josh said as he held his head in one hand.
Everyone was silent, waiting for Josh to make a move. He continued to hold his head in his hand, as he stood there. By this time, everyone had gotten used to the fact that Josh frequently zoned out, and lost himself in thought. They all waited patiently for him to process whatever he was thinking about.
“I remember!” Josh proclaimed, “You’re Maxwell, and you’re Dan, and You’re Kate and Ken, and...Gwen! And then you two are Max and Ben! I remember!” Josh said ecstatically.
“That’s good, Josh, that’s good,” Dan said trying to calm him down.
“I am Josh Stimpleton, and I remember everything!”
“This is good. I am happy for you, but I need you to tell me what exactly happened here,” Dan said as if he was talking to a child.
“I,” Josh paused, “Oh crap. I guess don’t remember everything. Huh.”
“Are you sure you don’t have an inkling of what this place is?”
“I think...I think this place was where I took both U. Smoker and Jordan, but, I don’t remember why. Though, where is Jordan?”
“We don’t know, but if Maxwell’s story is anything to go by, you activated something and the whole platform erupted in flames. I doubt anything survived other than you and Maxwell.”
“Just like in my dream,” Josh said and got lost in thought again, “I did it. I did it! After all these years of secrets, I can finally live my life again!” Josh said, filled with joy. Everyone else just seemed relieved that he was alive and breathing. Dan walked back to the helicopter, and Ken, Kate, Gwen, Ben, and Max stayed around Josh. They asked several questions in which the only answer Josh could give was “I’m not sure.”
“I do have one question,” Josh said after being asked so many questions he didn’t know the answers to, “I remember Ben saying that ‘my destiny would destroy me.’ What did you mean by that?”
“Oh that? That is just a quote from a movie,” Ben said as if he assumed everyone knew what he was talking about.
“Seriously? Whenever I ask you to do that ‘premonition’ thing, you just get a line from some movie?” Max said, confused.
“We watched it together, it was a cheesy B-movie called ‘Deadly Prophecy,” Ben answered.
“Well, Josh, I think that means you are going to be okay!” Ben said as he patted Josh on the back.
A weight lifted off of Josh’s shoulders. He felt for the first time that maybe things are going to be okay after all.
Maxwell slinked off and watched the sun starting to slowly make its descent into the horizon. The colors just starting to change into a orange-yellow hue. He felt the saltwater hit his face as the ocean below was starting to get choppy. Maxwell felt it was picturesque. Something troubled Maxwell though. It troubled him how easily Josh was able to take what must of been years of work, agony, and planning, and stuff it inside some compartment in his head. Josh didn’t remember, but it was still somewhere in his brain, ready to be plucked out if the situation arises. Maxwell thought maybe there is something enviable in how in control Josh seems to be of his brain, but it unnerved him how proficient Josh was at it. There was something machine-like and cold to the unconscious control Josh had, Maxwell thought. Maxwell then decided he was much too tired for such thoughts and resigned to think about it once he got some sleep.
Everyone got in the helicopter and Kate started the engine. The large cargo helicopter started its two blades and lifted into the air, leaving only a lonely black square in the middle of the ocean.
Part 20: The Pain of the Mistake
The helicopter turned out to be a very cramped craft. It looked much bigger on the outside, but I assume that is because we are packing a lot of fuel. I never really bothered to look where Nouveau Porc is relative to where we are going, but I don’t really care. I need to go here, no matter how long it takes, and knowing how long it would take would just make me more anxious. The land quickly gave away to a sprawling ocean. I guess we were close to the coast, though the fact that I didn’t notice that earlier is disconcerting to say the least.
Maxwell was sleeping in the back, and Jordan was concentrating on flying and trying to input something on the helicopter console. There was barely enough room for all three of us in the cockpit, and it looked like it was supposed to fit two adults in the front and two children in the back. There was something either sad or funny about seeing Maxwell stuffed in the back seat. At this point, I was leaning towards sad. Maxwell has been through a lot, though the fact that he seems to be sleeping so soundly sort of betrays that.
“There!” Jordan explains while leaning back in the pilots chair, “I finally programed the autopilot. It’ll take a while, but we’ll get there,” Jordan smiles to me, “I probably should have done that before we took off, but I am just so excited! This feels like a dream come true!”
“Yeah,” I mean to say more enthusiastically, but I knew at this point that from this point, it is all deception. I just need to figure out what the significance of McNabb’s facility never being finished is and this is all over. I think.
“I have all the news networks and websites I want to broadcast to all set up. Even if the UWG censors the networks, the fire that will be lit as doubt spreads will be too much to put out. All we gotta do is land and take the equipment out,” Jordan says to me.
I forgot whether Jordan told me this before or not, but I act like I know, “Alright, let’s do this.”
Jordan looks in the back and asks, “Is he still asleep? Hey! Get up! Early bird gets the worm, and all that jazz!”
Maxwell wakes up, but he doesn’t look too pleased. He responds sleepily “What is it?”
“I wanted to ask you something, you awake?”
“I am now,” Maxwell says with a sneer.
Jordan, seemingly oblivious to this, says, “How is my place holding up? Any of those land mines explode yet?”
“No,” Maxwell answered immediately and succinctly.
“I also saw that you wear all of my clothes!”
“Well, if there were any clothes stores in the middle of that desert, maybe I wouldn’t have to.”
“Oh c’mon, you like my style! No need to be shy! You look good in it!’
Maxwell decides to stop looking at us and stare out the window while saying, “Unlike you, I don’t have the money or privilege to sew my name into all the clothing I wear.”
“Ooo, that stings, doesn’t it?” Jordan says while he nudges me.
I don’t like where this is going.
“I worked hard as hell to get where I am,” Jordan says, looking right at Maxwell, “But you’re right, I don’t deserve the ‘privilege’ any more than you do. I worked hard to break the rules, and you worked equally as hard to work within them. And yet, here we are, I am the leader of a highly prestigious organization, and you are struggling to get by, with the best anti-assassin still working, no less. Is that fair?”
“I don’t see what ‘fairness’ has to do with anything,” Maxwell says, looking out the window.
“Exactly! We don’t live in a fair world, even before the Catastrophe, fairness was but a dream, but now it is dead. Any sort of ambition or goal is stamped out by the hopelessness of not being able to even scrape by. Why is that?”
Maxwell seems to not even want to even pay attention to Jordan anyway, and keeps on looking out to the sprawling sea, as the sun begins to rise.
“Because we have accepted the world as it is,” Jordan continues, “Because every time somebody tries to rise up, they are pounded back down. I worked for the UWG for years, defending their people and their interests, and where did it get me? Nowhere. The bottom of the food chain. Once I left, everything changed. And look at Josh here!” Jordan says as he points at me (and the last thing I wanted was for anyone to ‘look’ at me), “Josh worked as a UWG bodyguard for a fraction of the time you were a anti-assassin, and they gave him full access to the UWG intelligence! What kind of world has the UWG wrought?”
Maxwell, still looking out the window, responds, “Do you mind? It is hard to sleep when you keep on talking.”
“Oh!” Jordan looks at me, then looks at Maxwell, “Am I bothering you? Do you think what I am saying is wrong, or is it something you heard before?”
“No, I am just sleepy and you are too crazy to really take seriously.”
“My goodness! Crazy, huh?” Jordan looks at me, a part of me wants to tell Maxwell to shut up, a part of me wants to see where this goes, and the other parts just want to jump out of this helicopter, “He thinks we’re crazy!”
I try to diffuse the situation and say, “Uh, let the man sleep. We got plenty of time before,”
“The man thinks we’re crazy!” Jordan interrupts, “Well, that’s fine. That is what everyone thinks. We wouldn’t be taking this trip if people took us seriously, and you are the perfect cynic to bear witness to the truth!”
Maxwell sighs a little bit. He looks like he is resigning any sort of nap he thought he was going to have, and looks at Jordan as if his eyes were daggers that were trying to stab him, “The truth?”
“That the UWG are of bunch of opportunistic weasels, and the only reason the world is this terrible place is because they are both too lazy and too incompetent to do anything about it! Without them, the Catastrophe never would have never happened!”
“And what proof could you possibly find of that?”
“Don’t misunderstand me, I am not saying that we wouldn't have had to pay for the sins our our fathers, that was coming no matter what. What did the predecessors of the UWG do to prevent all the loses? What did they do to try and keep our mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, and the rest of our families from dying? Nothing. They did nothing. And now they rule the world because everyone was too heart broken and afraid to say any different. That needs to change. Once we have the proof, then you will see who is crazy!”
Maxwell sighs again and looks out the window, “Has it ever occurred to you that being ‘right’ doesn’t necessarily mean that you aren’t crazy?”
Jordan turns to me, “Haha, maybe I should have waited until morning? Looks like Maxwell here is a little cranky. No matter. I can’t expect to change people overnight. Let’s make sure we are rested,” Jordan says and puts his hands behind his head and closes his eyes. Maxwell is still looking out the window, and I shut my eyes a well. I try thinking back to the list I gave myself. I am on step eight now, if I remember correctly. Step nine is to ‘Remember password (AN).’ AN? I am pretty sure it is an acronym, but for what? AN? That doesn’t sound right. Isn’t it supposed to be AM?
Wait, why do I think that? Why does ‘AM’ make more sense than ‘AN?’
As the helicopter flies over the ocean, my legs begin to cramp. Both Maxwell and Jordan seem to be asleep. I have been trying to sleep, fading in and out of consciousness occasionally, but now I am fully awake, and I have no idea how long we have been on here. I look through the helicopter windshield and see nothing but ocean below. There is no indication of any land anywhere. I have this odd feeling of how silent it is. I look up to the top and see the helicopter blades spinning rapidly. I begin to get hypnotized by how the blades go by so fast that it looks like I can focus on one slowly going around. A trick of things going faster than the brain can conceive. Which I suppose is exactly what this journey has been, faster than I could think. I sure did a good job tricking myself. I just have to figure out what the hell I was thinking.
The silence is almost deafening and it dawns on me suddenly that there is no way that a normal helicopter could be this quiet. I don’t think I have ever rode on a helicopter before, but I can’t imagine something with spinning blades being so quiet. I try and figure it out in my head. It is either that the cockpit is so thick that no noise is coming through, or maybe there is a noise canceling device in here, or maybe a mix of both. Fascinating what technology can do. It can normalize even the most impossible of situations.
Maxwell suddenly whispers to me, “You know, I had no idea I was in for something like this when I brought you on.”
I make sure Jordan is asleep and respond, “Yeah, neither did I.”
“I always knew that it was a gamble, and it isn’t quite working out the way I wanted it too.”
“How did you want it to work out?”
“For one, I thought you were going to make me a lot more money.”
I think about it for a while and respond, “I guess I’m sorry, but I never needed money. In fact, I never really needed anything, well, material.”
“Don’t you live a charmed life.”
Maxwell closed his eyes and I was alone again. The more I think about it, the more I realize how lucky I was. It is sad that I don’t remember ever appreciating it. I was too wrapped up in myself to ever see how lucky I was compared to everyone else. I was just so miserable all the time. At least, that is all I remember. I don’t remember the happy times, I only remember the set of unfortunate events that lead me here in the first place.
I think back to that first date with Amelia; one of the few happy times I can remember (and even that was filled with anxiety and dread). “How can you make it so you can remember the lessons from experience, without the pain of the mistake?” I remember her saying it so clear, though I wonder if I have remembered it so much that I have overwritten how it actually went. It is now the ideal, and the reality is abandoned for convenience's sake. I wonder how many mistakes I have made, and how many I have forgotten to learn from. My plight doesn’t sound too much different from other people’s, I just wish I could feel secure about that.
I look at the autopilot computer and see that we have about an hour before we get there. I never took account of how long the trip was supposed to be in the first place. I finally got some sleep, and I am feeling a bit refreshed. I still have no idea what AN or AM mean. I think about how the tenth step is ‘reset.’ Am I going to forget everything again after this? That could be for the best. I have no idea what is going to to me happen after this. The tenth step begins to relax me a little. No matter what happens, I am going to forget this all anyway. Why stay stressed out about something that I can’t remember?
But, ah yes, “the pain of the mistake.”
“Josh, wake up, we’re here!” Jordan says as he shakes me.
I see that we have landed on a black, grated platform in the middle of the ocean. Just like in that vision.
“It is exactly where you said it was! You are a genius!” Jordan celebrates as he presses a large button. The cockpit opens and Jordan gets out.
“I am going out to the back and get all the equipment ready. You take Maxwell out and you two stretch your legs! We gotta be awake and limber to see what we’re going to see!”
I lift myself out slowly and by the time I get out, Maxwell is already stretching on the platform.
It is a lot smaller than what I imagined when I dream about it. I thought it stretched out for kilometers and kilometers, but as I look at it, it barely looks 300 meters long. It looks like a perfect grated, black square, just in the middle of nowhere. No idea why they call this the ‘obelisk.’ I begin to remember that man running away, and me lying down, accepting my fate. Here I am, again. A bile begins to rise in me. I never wished to be here again. I wanted this place to stay in my nightmares. This is the place where I killed myself. I baptized myself in flames and hoped that I died. But here I am again.
I wanted to leave, but I had a job. I want to destroy this place, but really, I just want to destroy the world. I want everything to fade away so I could be alone in my hate. I turned myself into a demon, and I am still too powerless to
Wait!
Wait
This isn’t me.
This is the me I killed.
This is the me I thought I killed.
I thought there was no one in the world who loved me and that the world was out to get me. I blamed the world. But ‘the world’ isn’t a thing. It is a large body of so many ideas, people, and things.
It’s okay, now. Everything is going to be okay. I imagine seeing myself as a child, I want to comfort him. I want to tell him that what he did was wrong, but I’ll fix it. Everything is going to be fine.
“Uh, Josh, uh, are you okay?”
I made wrong choices, I trusted the wrong people. I thought there were answers, but there are none. I made a promise to myself. I promised that I would fix this. I am going to atone for my mistakes, my selfishness, my ignorance of the outside world. I will atone by being the only one that can kill The Beast.
Jordan. I called him ‘the beast,’ because I thought he was evil. I am not so sure anymore. I am not sure if good or evil exist. All I know is that his attachment to his ideas will only bring ruin. I helped him become who he is, not because I encouraged him, but because I knew that he was wrong, and I did nothing to rise up and stop him. If I was really his friend, I would have told him that changing the world because of fear, paranoia, and revenge could only bring sorrow.
I am not sure if I am right or wrong, but sometimes that doesn’t matter, and if I honestly thought it was right, then I would be just as wrong or worse than Jordan. This isn’t about right or wrong, it is the decision I have made. It is my attempt to make the world a better place, the world I used to hate so absolutely.
So many mistakes. So much pain. “The pain of the mistake.” Amelia McNabb.
AM
“Josh!” I hear Jordan yell as he shakes my shoulder, “I almost got all the equipment ready, you remember how to open this place right?”
I answer almost robotically, “Yes.”
“Good! I was afraid that you forgot! Alright, I am going to set a few more things up. You get the thing opened, okay?”
“Sure.”
The only thing they finished on this false obelisk was the security system.
I turn towards Maxwell and get 5 centimeters away from his face, and say with a deadly seriousness, “Maxwell, when I say ‘now’ I want you to lay down completely flat on the platform. If you do not do this, you will die. Understand?”
Maxwell looks at me confusedly, as if he doesn’t even recognize who I am anymore and says meekly, “OK Josh, anything you say.”
There is a part of me that wants to confront Jordan. To ask him why he did the things he did. Why he thought what he was doing was okay. A part of me wants him to give one last speech before he goes. I realize that isn’t what I actually want. I want him to be the Jordan I knew before I knew what he did. I want him to say something that would make me remember why I admired and loved him so much.
In the end, I figure I want him to feel the least pain, emotional or physical, that I can. That is the only humane way to put down a Beast.
“Alright! All ready! Let’s start this revolution!” Jordan says enthusiastically as he runs towards me and Maxwell.
“NOW!”
I make sure Maxwell and I are lying completely flat.
“Huh...?” Jordan asks.
“ACTIVATE AUTO-NEUTRALIZATION SYSTEM PASSWORD AMELIA MCNABB!” I yell.
“What are...?”
Suddenly, the grates below Maxwell and I shift and lower us below the platform. Instantaneously, flames erupt above us and creates a burning mass. What looked like grates before, have wrapped us up and now protect us from the purge above. The flames are so loud that I could not hear Jordan or anything else.
I look over through the ‘grates’ towards Maxwell, and he looks terrified, but I can’t help but feel elated. It worked. I have finally done what it took me so long to do. I want to reach out to Maxwell and tell him that everything is going to be fine, that this journey is over. I reach with my hand, to see if this is even real, but the bubble like material makes it impossible. I begin to realize that I am losing consciousness a bit.
Wait. waitwaitwaitwaitwait. I don’t want to reset I want to remember I want to remember I am free now I don’t need to forget I change my mind don’t let me forget don’t let me forget don’t let me fade a
Part 19: OL16L66
I read somewhere if a person has strong feelings for someone before that person loses their ability to remember, those strong feelings sometimes remain even if the memory doesn’t. It implies that human relationships, or any strong relationship, really, rely on more than just memory. Maybe it is just a groove in the brain that remains, or maybe if someone acts as if they knew you well, you can’t help but agree, because why not? It isn’t like you know any better. I am assuming that is why, while I am still cautious around Jordan, I feel much more at ease than I was expecting. Drinking tea in his gaudy gold and black classroom of an office makes me feel good. It is almost nostalgic.
I see Jordan looking out a window to the city while sitting behind his college professor-esque desk, sipping his tea,“Do you know why Nouveau Porc looks so empty most of the time?” Jordan says.
“No, why?” I respond earnestly.
“It’s because this city is being kept alive by the UWG. Most of these buildings are empty, waiting for some sort of economic miracle to fill them again, all the while the UWG tries to pump them full of money to keep them standing. It’s pretty sad.”
“Why do that?”
“Because they need to set a facade of hope. I don’t know who they are trying to fool though, the people, or themselves.”
“You built your club in a UWG financed city?”
“Isn’t it perfect?” he looks at me with genuine glee, “I think they let me because they figured that it is better if I was close by than if I hid away somewhere. That is why this plan getting so far is so amazing! It is happening all under their noses!”
“That’s right, the plan. Now what is the plan exactly? Operation Alexandria, I believe I called it?”
I have a gist what is going on here. I know I have to bring Jordan to OL17L66. I know the ‘O’ stands for ’Obelisk,’ but what is L17L66? I needed to find out what Jordan knows.
“Are you familiar with the famous library of Alexandria?” Jordan asks while lacing his fingers, which reminds me of Maxwell.
“Sure,” I answer sort of dumbly. I wasn’t sure if I needed to elaborate further to make sure I understood his point.”
“Well, your friend and mine,” Jordan gives me a knowing look, “Tarren McNabb built a secret facility that supposedly contains evidence of all UWG’s dirty laundry that he has been using as a type of insurance policy. That man is notorious for his paranoia, and it will be the UWG’s downfall that they never took care of him sooner.”
Tarren McNabb. Of course, the man I worked for. The Obelisk is a library of secrets. Interesting. It all begins to flood together.
“What are we hoping to find down there?” I ask.
“Proof. Proof of the horrible things they did to the world. Once we find that, we can begin to overthrow this this dictatorship, this cowardly, moronic illuminati, and we can finally make it so our loved ones didn’t die in vain.”
‘Illuminati,’ huh? I am beginning to remember what started that wedge in our friendship; that idealism of his. Jordan was always so sure of things. A little too sure. I remember loving it. Jordan had the drive and direction I craved. I followed it blindly because I wanted to believe. I wanted to believe the UWG was to blame for all our problems and that we were making a difference. Things, I now remember, aren’t that simple.
“You know, it feels like yesterday that you and I were on the field, subduing would-be assassins,” Jordan says as he seems to be vividly remembering.
“I don’t quite have a lot of those memories back, but I do remembering having fun,” I say, as I struggle to remember a single thing about back then.
“It was fun, wasn't it? Oh, how naive we were. We were so full of fire back then, stuck in that mine-filled trailer park. I still remember having late night talks about how we could make the world a better place. I suppose there wasn’t really much else to do in that desert.”
“And then Maxwell took it?”
“He bought it after we went our separate ways. I never thought he would still own it after we got back together. I thought it would take years for you to get into any type of position that would give you access to the type of info we needed.”
“You can thank McNabb for that.”
“Really!”
“The UWG gave me intelligence clearance so I could figure out what he was up to.”
“Oh yes! How delicious! What a lucky coincidence that he wanted you so badly.”
“It wasn’t a coincidence.”
“Oh, let me guess, he wanted to keep an eye on you because of the MCN thing?”
“Nope.”
“What was it then?”
“He wanted to keep close tabs on me so he could make sure he could keep me away from his daughter.”
“Ha! That is rich. What a man. So then they gave you all the clearance to research McNabb?”
“All of it. McNabb wanted to keep me close, but he never gave me anything to do. I pretty much had all the free time in the world to just do research day and night.”
I remembered those days. They were filled with boredom of looking through dense, hard-to-read documents, one after another, but those times, which I found something that would lead me to what I was looking for, I treasured. I remember joyously telling Jordan every detail in encoded emails. It was a fun times, until I got too deep.
When I looked further and further into what they knew about Jordan, when I looked at what he did to find out what he knows now, how he found out about the UWG and the Smokers, that is when I stopped telling him everything. That is when the wedge was placed. That is when this was all flipped.
I don’t remember exactly what he did, but I remembering seeing it. I remember the horror. In retrospect, maybe it wasn’t that bad in context. I didn’t know those people. Maybe they were worse than Jordan was. It is just something you don’t want to think your friends are capable of.
But he did it for what he thought was the greater good. He doesn’t feel guilty about it because he did the equation in his head that what he was doing was much better than what they were doing to the world. What hateful math.
I don’t remember how many people, but it didn’t matter. I was never good at ‘math’ the way he was. I knew if he was capable of that, then I wasn’t safe. No one I loved was safe. The worst part was the more research I did, the less I believed in his ‘truth.’ I didn’t even need proof that he was wrong, all I needed was that little seed of doubt, and I knew I was in trouble. I knew I could keep it a secret and protect myself, but what about others?
Oh Amelia, a part of me wants to blame you, but I know it was all my fault. Why did I call you that last time? Did I do it so your father could track us and force Jordan and I to the desert? I wish. I wish I had a reason other than I wanted to hear your voice.
You are nothing to me now, a pop song with no context, but you were so beautiful to me back then. You were all my hopes, dreams, and sadness all in one. Well, you really weren’t, but you were the muse that allowed me to personify and identify all those things in my life.
“Let us see the fruits of your research then!” Jordan says to me, oblivious of my feelings.
“Oh right. OL17L66. That is where it is,” I answer in a way that disguises that I don’t know what that really means.
“OL17L66?”
“The ‘O’ stands for ‘Obelisk’ I know that.”
“What is L17L66?”
“Not sure. I didn’t really leave any clues for myself either.’
“Well let’s see,” Jordan brings out a folded up map from inside the desk and unfolds it to cover the entire surface of the desk, “Rumor is that McNabb built it on top of one of the islands that sank in The Catastrophe. I doubt it was anywhere too outside what used to be North America because that is where he was based.”
I looked at the map and was oddly horrified. The map was labeled in such a way that it had the all the landmasses that used to exist, and then a light blue layer over everything that was now underwater. Or at least I assumed that is where it is now. There are also grey parts here and there which, when I look at the key, seem to indicate man-made land masses. The map could almost stand on itself as a commentary on what we have lost. Jordan, on the other hand, was used to this. He just looked at the map intently. I guess that is what made it so odd to me; it wasn’t everything we had lost, it is how used we had become to losing everything.
Though, I guess I am not one to talk.
“L? Are there any islands that start with ‘L’?” Jordan asks.
“Maybe a small one near Hawaii?” I answer back.
“Wait,” Jordan looks on the sides of the map, “Hey, this map has longitude and latitude listed on it!”
“Yeah, so?”
“What if L17L66 are coordinates? Like around...here!”
Jordan points to the map and it is around what used to be Puerto Rico. A light bulb lights up in my head.
“That’s it!” I say excitedly, “It’s there!”
“Perfect!” Jordan says even more excitedly, “We shall leave as soon as possible! I will prep the jet. You get Maxwell to come along.”
“Why are we bringing him?”
“We need a witness! We need somebody who still believes in the UWG to come with us and he’ll be on our side once we show him what’s down there. We need him so we can get our stuff back!” Jordan winks at me, “He is just next door. Here is the key. Come upstairs as soon as you can!”
Jordan hands me a card key and runs out of the room. I walk out, and he makes sure to point out which door the key goes to before running upstairs. I had no idea Maxwell was so close. I am feel more ambivalent than I think I should be. Jordan runs up the staircase, and I am left in the hallway, alone. “Well, it is now or never,” I say to myself. It felt like this is the last steps I will take. I suddenly become very conscious of my breathing. He is so excited. He thinks that all his careful planning is finally bearing fruit.
I wonder if I was any better than he was. What authority I had to say whether or not he can change the world. I could have very well been worse than he was. But it doesn’t matter. I am following the plan. I am not even sure if I am really stopping him. This plan could just be manipulating myself to help him. But why the animosity? Why this sense of dread? Why do I feel like I am never going to see him again? Why would I apologize to myself? It could all be a joke, a ruse to trick myself, but I don’t think so. Why forget everything if I was just helping him attain his goals? No, this won’t end well. I don’t think this is going to end well for either of us.
I open the door, and I am greeted by darkness. I feel the wall closest to me and find a light switch. The room illuminates and it looks like Jordan wasn't lying. The room looks like an incredibly roomy and comfortable hotel room, complete with a giant bed, a full dinner table, a kitchen that looks filled with food, a large, flat TV, and pretty much anything anyone might want in a hotel room. It made the other hotel that I saw with the rest of the House of Maxwell crew seem plain in comparison. I heard a muffled voice from under the covers of the bed.
“Do you know what time it is?” I assume is what the voice said.
“We are going,” I say solemnly.
“What?” the covers flip over and I see Maxwell in red, silk pajamas.
“We are going now.”
“Where are we going?”
“To a secret facility that supposedly has all the secrets of the UWG.”
“What? Why?”
“To,” I begin to falter, as I realize that I am just repeating what Jordan said, “Look,” I say suddenly, “All you have to do is come with me, and this will be soon over.”
“Well, I certainly hope so. Do you mind if I get dressed?”
“Uh, no. No, I don’t. But, hurry. okay?”
“I’ll try my best, seeing as you just woke me up and I am still a little out of it.”
I turn and face the door as Maxwell begins to change.
“So you and Jordan are finally back together then?” Maxwell remarks casually.
“It seems so,” I answer matter of factly.
“I certainly hope you know what you are doing. You do remember why you are doing this right?”
“Yes,” I lie a bit, “I know exactly what I am doing.”
“I am not going to end up dead, am I?”
“Not if I can help it,” I answer honestly.
“Do you have any regrets, Josh?”
“Not that I can remember right now,” I wasn’t sure where this was going.
“I find that having a regret or two helps me to remember that I have to come back. You might want to do the same on trips like these,” Maxwell takes a few minutes to get what I assume is the rest of his clothes, and then takes a brown bottle and a glass, “You don’t mind if I take this, do you?”
I look and see it is some alcohol of some kind, “Sure. I don’t mind, and I don’t think Jordan will either.”
“You know, I normally don’t drink, but there is something about you and J. that makes me not want to be sober,” Jordan says and pours himself a glass and drinks it, “Though, drinking this early in the morning can’t be healthy. Anyway, how do I look?”
Maxwell is wearing black pants, a long red sleeve shirt, and a black vest. He looks like an older version of Jordan. Maxwell looked as if Jordan had failed, and the stress of life began to show on his face. He didn’t look old, he looked older than his age. The creases in his face betrayed any sort of similarity. All the hardship, I suppose, made Maxwell impossible to truly imitate the energy that Jordan has. That being said. He looks good.
“You look good,” I say, “but you are missing the gloves.”
“I know!” he says, “J. didn’t give me any.”
“Alright, we need to go,” I said as we walked out the room and towards the staircase to the roof.
“A secret facility, huh?” Maxwell mentions as we are walking up the stairwell.
“Yeah, it was actually never...”
Finished.
It was never finished.
“What was that? You cut yourself off there,” Maxwell says.
“Maxwell,” I say seriously, “I need you you to listen to me very carefully.”
“O-okay,” Maxwell says while being a bit taken back by my sudden shift.
“If I say to do anything, you do it immediately, okay? No matter how weird, or sudden, if I tell you to do something, you do it.”
“Alright, if you say so.”
Maxwell, shaken, continues to walk up the stairway as I stop to think.
