Compartmentalization (Part 16.5)

16.5 Dan Remembers

It was approaching dusk in the desert, and the hazy yellow of the sand began to fade into an orange-ish brown. Two young men are in the middle of a trailer park in the middle of nowhere. One young man is leading the other young man around a winding path that that probably seems completely unnecessary to the outside observer.
“Follow the path now,” the young man in front said, “you step off it, and you might not like what you find.”
“I know how a mine field works, Alex,” the young man following said.
“Who knows what lies under these sands, I am not even sure if J knew.”

The young men eventually reach a big trailer door with a wooden finish. The man in front puts his gloved hand on the door handle.
“I am thinking of calling it ‘Maxwell House.’”
“Like the coffee?” the man behind responded.
“Yes! It is a play on my name you see.”
“I can see that, but can you see that name might be a copyright violation?”
“This is the future, Dan! No one cares about copyright anymore, right?”
“I don’t know how you convinced me to come out here…” Dan said.
“We won! We were in competition with them for so long, and we are now going to take in the spoils!” Alex says gesturing his hands in a wide motion while opening the door.

Inside was a messy office that looked like something a college professor might have used, but it looked like all the books, papers, and most of the furniture were pushed up against the wall. In the middle was a little table with two plates of spaghetti, two wine glasses of wine, lit by candlelight, and with a slow violin record playing.

Dan immediately turns his back and begins to walk out.
“Wait! Where are you going!?”
“I can’t do this Alex! We are over! We have been over! I don’t care if you stole all of J’s stuff!”
“Steal!? I’ll have you know…”
Before Alex can respond Dan points at the “J.S.” on the vest Alex is wearing.
“Well…finders keepers right?”
Dan began to turn away and mutters, “Of all the asinine…”
Alex stands in his way, “Dan, it isn’t how it looks. Really.”
“Oh, okay. So how am I supposed to interpret a candlelit dinner date for two with romantic music on?” Dan said sarcastically.
“First of all, the electricity isn’t working yet, so we need candles to see what we are eating, and second of all, this isn’t romantic music at all it’s,” Alex removed the record from the player and reads it, “’Romantic Music?’ What? Is that really the title? Who names music like that?”
“I am leaving Alexander, and if I have to go through you, I guarantee I can take you.”
“What, Dan, are you really going to drive all the way to Sumiwake and eat a bad meal in a cheap hotel?”
“Yes, that sounds like exactly what I am going to do.”
“I cooked all this food. And I had to push everything away so that we can eat here. We agreed that we could still be friends. Can’t a friend cook his friend a meal?”
Dan sighed.
“A victory meal, Dan! After all we’ve been through together! I owe you one! Let’s eat together to celebrate!”
“I don’t really consider it a ‘victory’ when the competition forfeits, but alright, I’ll go with it, for old time’s sake,” Dan said as he sat down at the table. Alex sits down too and starts to eat. Dan just stares at Alex with his arms crossed.
“Aren’t you you going to eat?” Alex said.
“No, not really hungry,” Dan says gruffly.
“You really are not going to enjoy this are you?”
“Not until you tell me why you really brought me here.”
Alex sighs, “Ha, you can read me like a book, can’t you?”
“Just spit it out, Alex.”
“Dan, to be completely honest, I need you.”
“Too bad.”
“No, no, for the UWG.”
“Why?”
“Well, it turns out, they are going to turn down my AAO application.”
“You were never the greatest anti-assassin, getting a whole organization to yourself wasn’t ever going to be easy.”
“I know that. I…I just thought that after J and his crony left they would need somebody to pick up the slack.”
“That makes sense.”
“But they are going to turn me down next week, and unless you help me, they are going to throw me out of here.”
“So you WERE stealing!”
“No! They assigned me here to gather good enough agents to be a group! I have no connections out here so I was screwed.”
“’Screwed’ my ass. You knew exactly how this was going to go down, and you waited until the last minute to call me up and make yourself the ‘poor sympathetic loser’ to convince me to go with whatever crazy scheme you came up with!”
“That isn’t how I wanted it!”
“Then how did you want it?”
“I know how hard it is out there. I see all the poor souls out there, jobless, listless, and directionless. I know how that dread and ennui feels. There are too many people who need, and not enough people who give in the world today. So I was going to create an Anti-Assassin Organization that just didn’t hire the top of the line people. I want to give those who didn’t get a chance, or want a way to change direction in their lives. I want to give a house to those people who don’t feel at home anywhere.”
“Alexander Maxwell, the savior to the people.”
“Somebody has to do something right? And if you don’t help me, I will be just another homeless nobody leaching off whatever the UWG gives me.”
“So you need me to join your little group?”
“You are the best in the business Dan! You were the best even when J was around! You never got the attention you deserved, and if you joined me, I wouldn’t even need to get anyone else! We could hire those people that deserve to be more than nobodies!”
“You can’t just hire random people you think deserve it! Being an anti-assassin isn’t child’s play, Alex! It is dangerous and you are going to get people killed!”
“C’mon, I was a petty thief before I did this, and you were just a private that had no chance of promotion. Being anti-assassins gave us the chance to improve ourselves and have the support of the UWG to boot.”
“Do you really think that somebody like, I dunno, like Max is going to make a good anti-assassin?”
“Sure! Hell, I’ll hire my brother first thing, and I’ll show you exactly what I mean!”
Dan rolls his eyes, “This is crazy Alex. But I have to admit, it might just work.”
“So you’ll do it!?”
“Hold on, if I am going to do this, I have conditions that need to be met.”
“Okay, like what?”
“First of all, I don’t want to be in the field, ever. I already have two bad knees, a bad back, and too many close calls to ever go out there again. I’ll be backup, or shadow like that Josh guy, but I am not going to put my neck out there for any UWG official or whatever charity case you got out there.”
“We can do that.”
“Second of all, I want you to take care of all the financials, supplies, everything. All I want to do is target practice, read some books, and relax. I’ll also be the driver, but only if I get a good car with a sound system of some sort.”
“I can figure that out.”
“And lastly, I don’t want any tricky stuff, I want you to be completely transparent with me and tell me everything that is going on. Okay?”
“Done, done, and done! Now can we please eat? I am starving.”

They start to eat. There is a silence as it was apparent that they were both famished. After they finish their plates, they sit in their chairs, listening to the recorded violin slowly play a note.

“You know, I know we have our history, but I am feeling good about this,” Dan said, “You finally are putting that ego of yours to good use.”
“Well, I have only you to thank. Without you I don’t know where I would be,” Alex said.
“Probably still trying to steal something big.”
“Hah, probably. Thank goodness I got out of that business. The only thing I could manage to do is lock pick, and I wasn’t even good at that.”
“Whatever happened to J anyway?”
“Heard he joined the Smoker Guild.”
“Yeesh, you have to really hate the UWG to join those jokers.”
“Yeah, U. Smoker is a bit of a joke himself. I don’t think they’ll get anything accomplished other than just annoying people.”
“What about the ‘other’ J?”
“’Josh?’ I wasn’t even sure he existed until he joined the UWG.”
“I would love to see what that guy is really like.”
“Don’t bother. I heard that he is a total head case.”
“How so?”
“The guy uses some sort of mental technique, MBN or something, and it makes him forget stuff to remember it, or something.”
“I mean, the guy supposedly has been training in the UWG since he was little.”
“Really? Where did you hear that?”
“Something about some UWG people adopting him when he was a child.”
“I haven’t heard that.”
“I think it came up because people were asking how he could just join up the UWG after him and J went their separate ways.”
“By the way, which trailer do you want?”
“I’ll think I’ll get my own, thank you very much.”
“This is the beginning of something special, I can feel it.”
“Alright Maxwell House, I am counting on you.”
“Haha, Maxwell House?”
“Hey, you are turning over a new leaf! ‘Maxwell’ sounds more authoritative. You should use that.”
“Maxwell, huh? I think you’re right.”
“This will either be amazing, or it will completely crash and burn.”
“Who says it can’t be both?”

Compartmentalization (Part 16)

Part 16: What is there to destroy

“I’ll expect you back in three hours, Josh. Please don’t be late,” Jordan says to our back as the guards lead us out.

The feeling that I was empowered and starting to get a grip on things gave way to obsessing on the few things I don’t remember. It is like looking at a nearly complete puzzle, and that one piece, that one thing that will complete the puzzle, is missing. I know exactly where it fits, but until I can find it, I am unable to see the whole picture.

“Well, that was interesting. You and Smoker there have quite the history don’t you?” Kate says as the two large men lead us out of the club.
“You could say that,” I say as I am trying to remember exactly what happened.
“I’ve heard of both of you before, the famous anti-assassin pair, but I never really saw you together.”
“Jordan was the face of the group,” I remember as I say it, “I was the backup, the ‘shadow.’ I was the one who looked on from afar and saw that everything went according to plan.”
“Sort of like Dan with us?”
“Sure,” I say, though how much Dan was involved, seeing as this operation was a complete failure, I began to question.

As we walked through the rest of the Chamber club, it looked like the party had already restarted. We walked down the stairs, and I see that they even have a new band going. I regret not being able to even try and play the drums, but I suppose it is for the best.

We walk outside and there is already a car waiting for us.
“Get in,” Gwen says in her normal monotone.
We get in the car, and Gwen starts to drive. I see that Ken is also riding in the front passenger seat.
“Holy crap Josh, are you okay!?” Ken asks.
“Yeah, just a bump on the head,” I say as I rub my head.
“And I can’t believe you got caught Kate,” Ken says too brightly.
“Shut up, Ken! And where the hell were you when shit was going down?” Kate says angrily.
“Once I got the word from Dan to get out of there, I did.” Ken responds matter of factly.
“Trying to save Maxwell was a risky move,” Gwen says.
“Not you too! Whatever happened to ‘leave no one behind?’” Kate says defensively
“Do you think this is? The army or something?” Ken says.
“He was going after the objective!” Kate says loudly, “I can’t believe you two just ditched us!”
I interrupt, “What was the objective anyway?”
“The band was supposed to serve as a distraction as Maxwell was sneaking into Smoker’s office for information reconnaissance,” Gwen responds.
“Information about what?”
“Well, Smoker has been talking about ‘revolution’ a lot. Maybe it has something to do with that?”
“Rumor has it,” Ken starts, “That Smoker found out about some secret operation that the UWG has, and the UWG is worried that Smoker is going to expose them.”
“Where did you hear that?” Kate asks.
“You know, the internet.”
“The internet? How the hell do you get the internet? Gwen and I gotta go all the way to Sumiwake to use a computer in some café!”
“’Café’ is being generous,” Gwen chimes in.
“Seriously!” Kate agrees, “We have like a 30 minute drive, and then get to use some old piece of junk in somebody’s living room!”
“Oh,” Ken says, “I got the new Pair phone. Got it as a present.”
“Are you serious? Let me see,” Kate says as she grabs at Ken.
“Hold your horses,” Ken says as he hands the phone over.
“Ooo, this is cool! What the hell Ken! You gotta let me borrow this!”
“Oh no you don’t!” Ken grabs back the phone, “This is for work! Not even my own mother can call this phone.”
“Stone cold, Ken. Stone cold.”
“Well, actually, she is the one who gave me the phone in the first place, and still calls me on the landline for some reason.”
“Man, I never call my parents. I feel kinda bad about that.”
I try to take back the conversation, “Wait, Ken, a secret operation?”
“Right,” Ken responds, “Supposedly, it is so secret that even if you think about it too hard, the UWG will send agents after you. It’s brutal.”
“Like what kind of thing are we talking about?”
“Don’t know. Though, I did read though some stuff that mentioned that it may not actually be a secret operation by the UWG, but by some high ranking official that they are trying to stop.”
“And by ‘they’ do you mean Smoker or the UWG?”
“Either/or, man. I didn’t get a good source on that tidbit though, so I doubt it’s true.”
“And Maxwell was going in to find out what it was?”
“Yeah.”
There is a silence and Gwen breaks it, “I think Maxwell had to go because he is the only one authorized to hold UWG secrets. If any of us found out any classified information, who knows what would happen.”
I think out loud, “How did Smoker learn about this anyway?”
“Well,” Ken says skeptically, “We still don’t know if he knows anything.”
“If he does,” Kate says, “The info would have to come from a mole. Maybe Maxwell was trying to figure out who was feeding Smoker information.”
I bet I know who that is, I think to myself. I probably also know about the ‘secret operation’ too. It is all swirling in my head, but something is still missing.

We get to the hotel that I suppose we are using as a base in Nouveau Porc. It doesn’t look like a 5-star hotel, but it is still impressive nevertheless. It is a tall white building, like all the buildings in this city. It is sort of eerie and imposing, and the lack of people on the streets puts me at a bit of unease. I am not sure if it has anything to do with Jordan, or if it is always like this. We enter the hotel and go up the elevator. Gwen and Kate talk to each other while Ken and I stay silent. When we finally get to our suite, I see several beds, and Dan standing up, watching the TV.
“You guys okay?” Dan asks earnestly.
“Yes, everyone is accounted for,” Gwen responds.
“What about Max and Ben?” Kate asks.
“They are on the floor below us. They got here before you guys did. I heard you were interrogated by Smoker?” Dan asks.
Kate says in her ‘professional voice’ (which now I think about it, sounds a bit like Gwen’s normal voice), “I was attempting to salvage any intel or personal I could by sneaking through the ventilation shafts, but was locked in when Maxwell tripped the alarm. I was trapped in there awhile, not sure how long, but eventually a Smoker agent came and escorted me towards Smoker’s office. On route, I ran into Josh, and Smoker interrogated us as a pair. As far as I can tell, there was no real effort to try and get information out of us. All Smoker did was convey information to Josh and I, and now has Maxwell hostage. The ransom seems to be that Josh must return in three hours.”
“Did you get any indication that there would be a ‘trade’ of some kind?” Dan says.
“No, not at all.”
“Hmmm, I don’t like this at all, goddamn it Maxwell,” Dan says as he looks away and begins to look out the window.
“We have no choice,” Ken pipes up, “We can’t send Josh. All that will accomplish is giving him one more hostage.”
“Ken, you can’t be serious! You can be an asshole sometimes, but leaving Maxwell behind?!” Kate yells at Ken.
“Can we send someone with Josh?” Gwen says.
“If he wanted anyone dead, he would have just killed everyone right? I should’ve been there,” Dan says to himself.
“Maybe Josh has information?” Ken questions.
“Well, Smoker had plenty of opportunities to take Josh for himself. It doesn’t make any sense if he is using Maxwell just to lure him to a trap, when he just released him from one,” Kate reasons.
“That’s what I don’t like. None of this adds up,” Dan says then he looks at me, “It is really up to you, Josh. You joined the group, but I am not going to pretend that I have authority over you. This might just be the reason why you came in the first place.”

Something in me hesitated. I can’t go in there alone. There is a part of me that knows I can beat Jordan, but there is also part of me that is terrified of him. There is a part of me that looks up to him, and there is a part of me that wants to bury him. I just wish I had more time. More time to process through everything.

Though, maybe Dan is right, maybe this is what I am here for. I think I laid out this plan for myself, and I think I have to see it through. I just want some insurance. If everything goes wrong, I want something that guarantees that all this nonsense, all this confusion, that it was for something.

“Is there any way,” I start, “that I can have some sort of ‘tracker’ or something? Something that you guys can see me with?”
Dan sits down and says, “No way. If I know anything about J, he probably has a set up in that room that detects any sort of changes in the body. If you didn’t have it on you when you first came in there, he is going to know about it when you go back in.”
“I want, no, I need someone to track me. I need to know that if the worst happens that at least somebody can know where I was.”
Dan was about to say something, but Kate interrupts, “Wait, Gwen, did you ever give him that water?”
Gwen brightens up, “Oh right, yeah, I gave it to him.”
“Then, problem solved!” Kate says excitedly.
“What do you mean?” Dan inquires.
“Gwen and I thought something like this might happen, so we gave Josh a ingestible tracker before we got captured,” Kate says.
Dan shakes his head and says, “You have to be kidding.”
“You guys, put a tracker on me?” I say, in disbelief. I feel elated, but ‘Thought something like this might happen,” is complete bullshit. They didn’t trust me. But, I suppose if I was in their position, I wouldn’t trust me either. I am me and I still don’t completely trust myself.
Suddenly, Max and Ben enter the room.
“Where the hell is Maxwell?!” Max asks desperately.
“He’s,” Kate begins to say.
Dan stands up to face Max and says, “Alex is being taken hostage. Josh is going down there soon to deal with the situation.”
Max looks at me, and then at Dan, “Take me with you! I know I am a lousy anti-assassin but…”
“Don’t bother,” Dan interrupts, “Josh needs to go alone. I used to compete with Josh back when he was with J. Trust me when I say he can handle it.”
I couldn’t believe how much trust he was putting in me, though I wonder if he is only saying that to pacify Max.
Max goes up right to me.
“You make sure Maxwell gets out alive, you hear me?” Max says intently, and I can see his hazel eyes so very clearly.
“I’ll do my best,” I say.
“The one time I come along...,” Max begins to mutter as he sits on one of the hotel beds.
“Josh, all your stuff is in Max and Ben’s room. Head down there and clean up. Do any preparation you need, and meet up with us in two hours. It takes a twenty minutes to get there, so don’t be late,” Dan says as he gestures to Ben.
Ben gives me the room key, and I try to read his expression. Nothing. I fast walk to the elevator and press the button. It goes down. I suddenly remember Ben’s prophecy. “Your destiny will destroy you.” What a crock. What does he know anyway? I enter the room, take off all my clothes, and go into the shower. How can you destroy something that isn’t even whole yet? Abortion, maybe, but there is nothing there to ‘destroy.’ I am going to meet Jordan, beat him (whatever that means), and then it’s over. Then I can lead the life that doesn’t exist, with the family I don’t remember, and do the things I don’t know I like. Seriously, what is there to destroy?

Compartmentalization (Part 15)

Part 15: The Beast

Amelia, Amelia, Amelia. It was like magic as it rolled off my tongue. I had the key, not sure to what, but it was the key to something important. I felt like I had some important part of me back. The two large men in black dragging me upstairs may make it seem like I am in a bit of trouble, but I don’t feel that way at all. I feel like I am whole again. I look at them and I figure out the best way to take them out if I needed to. Though something tells me that they were taking me exactly where I need to go.

As I am being lead up the stairs, and down the hallway, I see Kate, and they begin to lead us side by side,

“How did you get caught?” she asks me.

“I could ask you the same question,” I retort.

“I actually was trying to save Maxwell’s ass when they locked down all the vents. I was screwed.”

“Maxwell is...?”

“Yeah, he wanted to be the one to go into Smoker’s office, granted he is the second best lockpicker that we got,”

Before I could ask who is the first, I see a pair of giant black doors in front of me. On the top of them in gold letters reads, “J. S. Smoker.” I found myself in front of the entrance to the beast.

“Could this be any gaudier?” Kate asks me rhetorically, as the guards press a solid gold intercom box button, and a voice says, “Let them in.”

We are ushered into a black and gold office room. It looks like a huge version of Maxwell’s office, though instead of looking like something a college professor would use, this looked more like a black and gold encrusted classroom. The walls were lined with books, and there was a wide open space between me and the huge black desk that sat a brown haired, well built man with a black shirt, black tie, black suit, and even black glove combo that made the impression of a demon. Though I admit, I may be a bit biased at this point.

“Well, well, well. Long time no see, Josh,” the man at the black desk says as I hear the doors behind us lock, and the guards let go of both Kate and I.

“Where the hell are the others?!” Kate yells immediately.

“Now, that’s not a great way to start a conversation. My name is J. S. Smoker, and I am the leader of the Smoker Assassin Guild. Pleased to meet your acquaintance, young lady,” the man says as he stands up and turns to me, “Please come closer, I haven’t seen your face in such a long time.”

Kate hesitates, and I charge forward. This is it. This is why I can’t remember anything. I just need to figure out what ‘this’ is, and I will be free.

I stop at the desk, and slam my hands on what seems like black wood, though upon hitting it, I feel that it is more of a plastic surface.

“I want answers!”  I say genuinely.

The man laughs, “Josh, you must be kidding,” and he pauses while he sits down again and begins to say very slowly, “For someone who killed the previous leader of the Smokers, you seem to be a little more forward than I was expecting.”

I was taken aback.

“After we split our different ways, I thought it would prudent to respectfully agree to disagree with each other and leave each other alone, but when you murdered U. Smoker, I began to realize that perhaps you did not value prudence as much as I did,” the man says as he stares right in my face, “Do you not remember this?”

The Black Platform. That man. The fire. The gunman who couldn’t cry. Of course it was me. I didn’t remember it as me, but it must have been.

“You know Josh, after all the years I knew you, I trained you, cooked for you, I bled for you, it hurts to think that you don’t remember any of it.”

I remembered it. Bits and pieces. But I don’t remember being grateful. Not even once.

“Yo! Smoker! Where the hell is everybody else!?” Kate yells.

The man ignores her and stands up, “This mind compartmentalization you cling to, does it actually help you? Do you feel more in control? Do you feel good knowing that you can barely control yourself?”

“If you did anything to them, I swear I will,”

“And what will you do?” the man interrupts her, and breaks his attention off me.

She walks right up to the man, “I’ll kill you, you bastard!” she says.

“An anti-assassin killing? Do not worry, none of your crew are important enough to kill. Though I was disappointed to not see Dan. Is he still working with Maxwell?”

“F___ you!”

“If there was any justice in the world, he would be running your little band, but the world seems to be rather short on justice lately. Instead, the crook who stole my home is now leading some of the best people I ever had the pleasure to face.”
I am confused, I need to say something, “Jordan, you’re Jordan, right?”
“Yes, Josh, I am Jordan Steinman, the poor schmuck who took you in and made into the man you are today.”
I looked at his lapel, there was a pin that read ‘J.S.,’ just like I remembered.

“Then, why, well,” I was trying to think it through, “Why did you bring us here in the first place? Only a fool would think that you hired a band directly connected with the UWG on accident.”
“That is funny, isn’t it Josh? I have been making some bad decisions lately. Recently, I sent an assassin to kill a rumored high ranking official, but I left him with no escape route! Now why would I do that?”
“You were setting up a trap. I knew it!”
“Of course you did, Josh. If you could only think clearly, you would have realised that this
was all a trap from the beginning. By the way, did you enjoy my music selection?”

Jordan had my number, that was for sure, but I just didn’t know how much he really knew. I knew I could beat him, I knew I had to.

“You keep the hell away from Amelia,” I say angrily.
“For someone who dumped you years ago, you have always been very protective of that girl. I think that she can very much defend herself. It was more than sheer coincidence that she is here, but really, the question you should be asking yourself is whether you can really defend yourself?”

At first I was getting angrier, but then that confidence began to flow over me again. If he wanted me dead, I would be dead already. He wants something, something that I have. He thinks that he has this all planned out, but all I need is to remember where I hid that trump card, and I’ll have the upper hand.

“Jordan, I may have forgotten many things, but I didn’t forget that I can take anything you dish out,” I say confidently.
Jordan leans his back towards the desk, “HA! I missed you Josh. I really did. You always were the feckless neophyte, but you had drive,”

“I want the rest to be released, it’s me that you want.”

“I already released the rest of your bandmates, the woman you had break into my ball, and your white suited ‘manager.’”

“What about Maxwell?” Kate interrupts.

“Alexander? I need some insurance that Josh here will come back after he goes back to base and cleans himself up so we can catch up on old times.”

“You don’t seriously think we are going to send him alone, do you?” Kate quips sarcastically.

“You don’t have a choice. He probably locked up everything back at the base so that only he could get back in. Unless you send back Josh to me, alone, you won’t get your boss back,” Jordan says as he gets behind his desk and sits down.

“Let’s go Kate, don’t worry, I can handle him,” I say as I pat Kate’s shoulder.

“Are you crazy? He is enemy number one! Nobody’s gonna save you if you go alone!” she says as she brushes off my hand off her shoulder.

“This might be the concussion talking but, I got this. Let’s go home, I need a shower.”

I need to get Kate out of here. I need to get Jordan alone so I can confront him and sort this out. I know this all leads to him, I got all the pieces, I just need to link them in the right order and everything will make sense.

It all has to make sense, right?

Compartmentalization (Part 14)

Part 14: Amelia

“You silly billy!” Amelia says as she looks in my eyes.

Laying on the cold floor, with green lights flashing, I still hear that song.

 Oh, Amelia

You’re my Burning Desire

You don’t have to stay

Just don’t let go

Such a simple, dumb pop song, but all the memories, the pain, the insecurity, everything about it was so laden with memories of the girl I locked out of my mind. It was nice to be able to listen to the song for the first time in a while, just on its own merits, but I wonder if the whole point of songs like this are to fill in your own blanks.

It was odd to see her right next to me. I felt like I should feel something deeper. Maybe I should feel ecstatic, maybe I should be feeling dread, but the only thing I could think of was, “huh.”

“You don’t have a concussion or anything right?” she asks earnestly.

“No, no, I don’t think so,” I say while sitting up.

“You took quite a fall there! Whoopy-daisy!” she said as she did some sort of head nod. It feels like she is trying to reference something, but I have no clue what it is.

“Let’s go to the bathroom and clean you up, okay?” she grabs me by the shoulder and slowly takes me to the bathroom. I survey the dance floor and see mostly empty space, but crowds of people lined up against the walls, staring at me. I can’t blame them, if I saw someone dive off the stage like that, I would also think I was a crazy person.

I try to see if Ben and Max were still on stage, but my neck is in so much pain that I can’t turn it to look. The only thing I can see in the men’s room slowly coming closer.

We enter the bathroom and I look at myself in the mirror. Face doesn't look pretty, but I have all my teeth. That’s good. I think my forehead got most of the blow. It reminds me of things I read about years ago about the brain, and how portions of brain can have different functions associated with them. Maybe knocking my head was my attempt to kick-start something.

“Alright Josh, I want you to keep awake, okay? It is important that you keep talking to me, do you understand?” she says like a concerned mother. There was a part of me that was filled with contempt at her familiarity, but I shut that down immediately and I realize that she is just trying to help. Maybe I do have a concussion.

“Yeah, sure,” I say, still a little out of it from all the vivid memories.

“How long has it been Josh, 3 years?” she says changing her tone a bit.

“I guess so.”

“We used to call each other every weekend, but then you got too busy.”

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay, I needed to concentrate on school anyways.”

“No, I mean, sorry about everything.”

“What do you mean?”

To be honest, I wasn't sure what I meant. I already had a headache from the fall, and things were not clearing up. There was something to apologize for. Maybe it was because I had spent so many years now trying to mentally block her image and memory, and I was not entirely sure why yet.

“For not calling, even though, you know, I was working for your father,” I say not entirely sure what is coming out of my mouth. Though the more I connect the dots, the more I realize that yeah, I did work for her father, but why didn't I contact her?

“Haha! I don’t blame you. My dad isn't too keen on me talking with guys. He is a good man, but he can never see me as another other than ‘his little girl.’ Also, that whole thing is supposed to be classified right? I mean, it is pretty obvious if you look for it, but you aren't really supposed to talk about it, right?”

“Well,” I hesitated, “they don’t really pay me now a days, though I think I am technically still working for them. Either way, I am not really worried”

“That’s good,” she says and awkward silence forwards. I need to go to the bathroom.

“Sorry, uh, I have to go,” I say as I shamble towards the stall.

“Oh no! I don’t mind! Please!” she says stumbling over herself to give her approval. She helps me in and I close the door and lock it.

I began to feel also awkward in the stall. Should I still say something? I am getting pee-shy here.

Then she breaks the silence, “So, you play in a band now?”

“No, it’s just a one time thing,” I respond

“Oh, because I really like Yami Gami”

“Who?”

“The band you were in. I heard their stuff online and it really resonated with me, you know?”

I didn't know, I didn't even know their name, “It was just a one time thing. They needed a drummer so I came in,” I lied.

“I never knew you played drums!”

“Well, you know,” I can’t think of anything clever, and I start to concentrate on trying to pee before anything else happens.

But, of course, I hear a loud noise, someone banging the door open. I hear a loud imposing voice yell, “We need Josh. Now.”

I hear Amelia try to cover for me, but I it is too late and I am staring up at a large man in a black suit staring down at me. Before I can figure out how the hell he opened the bathroom door I locked, he grabs me by the collar and stands me up.

“Put your pants on,” he orders me.

I would like to think that I would normally stand up to this kind of abuse, but instead I pulled my pants off and waved weakly to Amelia while the big man was dragging me.